Tucker Carlson: Americans should apply for asylum in El Salvador, it's safer than Baltimore and Chicago

If you think you’ve had a stressful week. Imagine being Kamala Harris. You take your first big trip south of the border, to what we used to call the "developing world." You’re excited about it because you know, that as a licensed "person of color," all the other "people of color" you’re going to meet will be thrilled to see you. That’s how it works in the "people of color" community. They’ve got so much in common that getting along is effortless. It’s one big happy community. You’re oppressed, they’re oppressed, you’ll be friends. If you’re Kamala Harris, that’s what you’ve always assumed. But it turns out, you were wrong.

You finally get to Guatemala and discover that, actually, the people there detest you. They couldn’t care less about all the glass ceilings you say you’ve shattered. They’re not impressed by your political science degree or the fact you once chaired the Black Law Students Association in college. They find you phony and annoying. In fact, they strongly prefer the orange man you replaced. At least he was funny. They tell you to buzz off and go home. Get out of here and don’t come back. Imagine how that must feel if you’re Kamala Harris. Quite the psychic blow.  

So you can’t really blame the unnamed White House staffer who swooped in to save the day, hiring a fake Univision reporter to suck up Kamala Harris and make her feel better. We can’t prove that happened of course, though it makes sense. We do know that Univision denies that the lady who told Harris, "I voted for you" at a press conference had ever worked for the network. Whoever she was, she made Kamala Harris’ day. "Thank you," Harris replied gratefully. 

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And then, her spirits raised, Kamala Harris returned to immigration policy. What is Harris’s immigration policy exactly? Simple: Now that we’ve solved every domestic problem and turned the United States into a peaceful, happy utopia, it’s time to take all the money we have leftover and give it to Central America. Only by doing that can we solve the "root causes" of the immigration problem. 

KAMALA: what we must do to address the root causes of migration … to address the root causes … The issue of root causes is not going to be solved in one trip … To address the root causes as if it’s something that can be dealt with overnight … to feel the effects of those root causes on our shores … and the root causes are based on the problems and the challenges that people are facing in countries like Guatemala, which is why I was there … we have to address the root causes.

So what are these root causes? Well, they include climate change, of course, violence against women, Uber shortages in midtown over holiday weekends, and the patriarchy. Once we solve those, we’re done. We’ve solved the problem. So it’s simple: make Latin America perfect. That’s all we need to do. It shouldn’t be hard. People like Kamala Harris have a demonstrated record of dramatically improving everything they touch. Take a trip on Bay Area rapid transit some time, and you’ll see what we mean.  

This is not to say that transforming Honduras into Monaco will be effortless. Projects like that could take weeks. But no matter how long it takes, we have got a moral responsibility to do it. Because as Sandy Cortez learned during her recent undergraduate days at Boston University, we’re the ones who made Central America crappy in the first place. It’s our fault. Everything is, and especially this.

ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ: What we as a country -- what the United States has not done is actually own up to the fact that we have contributed to regime change, destabilization, and interventionist foreign policy that has contributed to these awful conditions throughout Latin America. … And we cannot, as a country, no matter who it is, continue to show up in Latin America and say that this is their fault or that they are to blame.

Now, wait a second, Sandy, recognizing that you were an international studies major, but still, some of us are wondering: Wasn’t it Spain that brutally colonized Latin America? Shouldn’t Madrid be kicking into the reconstruction fund here? Or is European Spain considered a "nation of color" now, and therefore blameless? We’ll have to check with a B.U. Professor on that and get back to you. But in the meantime, here’s an idea: Why don't we fix the United States first? 

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We had a conversation with the president of El Salvador not so long ago, and he made that point. We were in his country shooting a documentary on MS-13 and immigration. During our interview, he pointed out that, actually, it might make sense for people on the south side of Chicago to apply for refugee status in El Salvador, not the other way around. It’s less dangerous. 

TUCKER: The United States has seen a dramatic increase in crime and murders in cities across the country. What would your advice be to leaders in the US? 

PRESIDENT BUKELE:  To be tough on crime. Before, El Salvador was the murder capital of the world. Three years ago it was the murder capital of the world. Now crime has been reduced to 75% - violent crimes. … So now, it’s more dangerous to live in Chicago than it is to live in El Salvador. 

The president’s point is not crazy. It’s not just a talking point. It’s actually true. According to the numbers, El Salvador is in fact safer than many major American cities. Safer than Baltimore, for example.  

In 2018, Baltimore had 51 murders per 100,000 residents. That same year, San Salvador had a smaller number -- 50.3 murders per 100,000 residents. San Salvador was long the most dangerous city in the hemisphere. Baltimore also had a higher murder rate than Guatemala, Honduras, and Afghanistan. 

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So why aren't residents in Baltimore applying for asylum in Central America? Thanks to good leadership, El Salvador is getting safer. Meanwhile, thanks to people like Kamala Harris, our country is becoming far more dangerous: 

AISAH HASNIE: From vicious attacks in broad daylight to cold-blooded murders by night, another summer of sin is already underway in New York City. Shootings year-to-date are up 81-percent. This weekend alone, 27 people were wounded in 22 shootings, including a Manhattan federal prosecutor hit by a stray bullet in the face while having dinner at a restaurant. Bullets went flying in New Jersey this weekend, where a birthday party turned into a mass shooting. Fourteen partygoers were shot, two died. Community members blame gang wars. Chicago had a worse weekend where nine were killed and 38 injured by gunfire. The victims include a 15-year-old boy shot in the head while sitting on a front porch.

So, it really is getting more dangerous. It’s not your imagination. And by the way, murder may be the only event in human life the U.S. government tracks accurately. It’s kinda hard to hide the body most of the time. So we know for a fact that major cities saw a massive increase in homicides, overall a 33% increase in homicides last year -- and that crime spike has continued into this year. Some people are starting to wonder why Kamala Harris is promising to rebuild Central America, rather than America. One of those people is a man called Andrew Holmes. 

HOLMES: My message goes out to the president. It goes out to the mayor and everybody. Come out and get on the ground. Do what we got to do. … We need them to get out on the streets here. You fly Air Force One to take care of people overseas and don’t take care of the United States. You don’t take care of Chicago. Come out on these streets. These streets are full of blood.

That’s not a partisan talking point, it’s true. How can they continue to ignore what’s happening in Chicago? But not just in Chicago, in lots of places.

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The formerly peaceful city of Knoxville, Tennessee, for example, is now on track for its deadliest year in history, even worse than last year, which set the previous record. So, what happened to Knoxville? The same thing that always happens to places that decline: terrible leadership. Neoliberal nonsense. Frenzies of guilt-fueled professional-class self-hatred.  

Elected morons like Indya Kincannon. Indya Kincannon is somehow the mayor of Knoxville. She recently announced that she would personally join in painting a BLM mural.  

"I understand now more than ever it is not OK just to stand up to justice inequity," Kincannon told reporters. "We must all be actively anti-racists." 

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What are the practical consequences of so-called "anti-racism"? Well, we know, we see it all around us. The consequences are more misery and race hatred. No questions about that. Ask your kids what they’re learning in school. Behind the scenes, anti-racism means fewer and less effective police. Crime spikes. Drug addicts living in the park. Children murdered in drive-bys. That’s all still happening across the country. In fact, it’s happening more, but getting less coverage. You rarely hear the phrase "defund the police" these days. Why? Normal people, of all colors and political registrations, found the slogan terrifying and deranged because it is. So Democrats told their troops to pick a new euphemism. But the idea hasn't gone away. It’s still with us. Congresswoman Cori Bush of St. Louis explaining that police are the real threat to public safety. 

BUSH:  I understand that people don't like the slogan [Defund the Police]. I get that. But I don't like death. I don't like Black death. I don't like to keep seeing my people die at the hands of police and nothing is happening. I don't like that. I can care about people's feelings, I can care about, you know, if you like what I'm saying or not. My people are dying and that's why I have to look at.

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What does talk like that bring us? Nowhere good. 

In point of fact, everything she said is untrue. A lot of people are dying in St. Louis, but not at the hands of police. What’s happening there? The murder rate there has skyrocketed. You’re now more likely to be shot to death in St. Louis than you are in Guatemala City. A place that has been famous for decades for being violent. But St. Louis is now more violent. So maybe it’s our country that needs attention these days. 

This article is adapted from Tucker Carlson's opening commentary on the June 9, 2021, edition of "Tucker Carlson Tonight."