So, something's weird going on. This vaxxed vs. The unvaxxed narrative. As if they are jousting in the park like a low-rent version of Medieval Times. Like it’s something you can bet on with your bookie. Is it real?

I mean, we’re Americans, with families, and within families there are disagreements from sports to politics to health. To even easier choices like "should we put mom in assisted living or on a blowup mattress in the garage."

In your family, there might be someone who smokes. Or worse, doesn’t smoke. Or, they might have voted for Bernie Sanders. Maybe they get coffee enemas because Gwyneth Paltrow said so. (A shout out to Steve Doocy.)

We all laugh at this, but we're respectful. Yet there’s an us vs. them narrative, being pushed by the White House, and the media. And they sound identical.

It’s like when someone shows up at a party dressed exactly like another guest and everybody asks "hey did you two call each other?" It’s exactly what we should be asking Jen Psaki and Don Lemon.

Here's Joe:

Biden 7/6: millions of Americans are still unvaccinated // and because of that their communities are at risk // Biden: 9/9: many of us are frustrated w the 80 million Americans still not vaccinated // Biden: 9/9: we have the tools to combat covid-19, and a distinct minority of Americans…are keeping us from turning the corner // Biden (9/9/21): what more is there to wait for what more do you need to see // Biden: (9/9/21) we have been patient but our patience is wearing thin

This from a guy who has been wrong on everything. And here's the media:

Joy Reid, September 15: We begin The Reidout with a message—OK, we get it! COVID is the precious and you love it. You love COVID so much you want it to spread into schools, at the office, in the Walmart, on the cruise ships and in the club // Joy Reid, September 9: most of the people I know who are vaccinated are irritated and really impatient at this point with those who are refusing for whatever reason to do this easy thing to save us from this nightmare pandemic. // Don Lemon, September 15: most of the people I know who are vaccinated are irritated and really impatient at this point with those who are refusing for whatever reason to do this easy thing to save us from this nightmare pandemic.

He’s stupid. What a ginned-up conflict. These creeps are like America’s gym teacher, forcing us to play shirts and skins dodgeball when what we really want to do is play spin the bottle.

It makes you wonder about the other conflicts you saw on TV. For example, was there really a conflict between all Black people, and police. or was it largely a narrative created for eyeballs and angst? Eyeballs and angst. I think I saw them open for Nine Inch Nails.

Or how about rich vs. Poor? What if the poor don't hate the rich? They just wanna be rich. And the rich would be thrilled to help. Cuz it’s not a zero-sum game.

But where are the ratings in that? You don’t have breaking news every time a plane lands safely. But put two passengers beating the living shit out of each other on that plane, then come talk to me!

Or how about gender? Do men and women really hate each other? Or, are gender differences what make men and women irresistible to each other. At least that’s the case with my female fans. Those grannies can’t get enough of this.

But if you subtract the media's fakery, could it be that we actually all get along. Which is deadly. For the media. CNN wants you to think Blacks hate Whites. And Whites hate Blacks. Make that happen, and everybody gets new shoes!

But the moment a "hate crime" turns out false, it's disappeared like someone who hit on Al Capone’s wife. And so the vax vs. Unvax conflict is about as real as an argument over a Rolex on the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

The vaxxed and the unvaxxed aren’t the Hatfields and the McCoys. Unvaxxed girls are not forbidden to marry vaxxed boys. Romeo and Juliet never argued about ivermectin. It’s all a fiction.

The entire vaccine story is about people deciding when they want to get the vaccine. The media however wants it to be a war. Much like this:

((pause for skit of husband and white arguing over vaccination))

I said this before - if Americans fight amongst themselves, the people in power escape our collective wrath about their own corruption and incompetence. It's why corporations try to be woke -- hoping the activists don’t realize all the bad stuff they do.

Sure we make underage labor work in horrendous conditions but we’re gonna use 2 trans-actors and a Mexican dwarf who’s legally blind in the first ad campaign for these sneakers so that'll get these whiners off our backs.

Since Trump left the White House, CNN no longer has the conflict - and no longer the viewers. There is no more Trump vs. Never-Trumpers, and mysteriously, Black Lives Matter just disappeared. But as their ratings collapse like Hunter Biden on an exhausted hooker, they realized they needed a new war: the vaxxed and unvaxxed.

Which distracts people from the real problems that both Dems and the media worsened -- crime, homelessness, the collapse of our social order. Food prices rising faster than pot seeds in Kat’s apt.

Observing their own complicity, both CNN and Biden craved divisiveness. The us vs them, would save them.

Oh at first they hated the vaccines under Trump. Now under Biden, they're positively fascist about the jab. Trump vaccine bad, Biden vaccine good. Joy Reid, please pick up the white courtesy phone.

Joy Reid: And, listen, I understand the hesitancy. Listen, I was hesitant when Donald Trump was out there controlling the CDC and controlling the FDA and manipulating them and making them put out falsehoods. DYSON: Right. Right. REID: Anybody rational was hesitant.

Unity is scary because it means the media isn't necessary. So they choreograph their coverage exactly to the Democrats liking: create dissent among the ranks, so those in power remain so.

And their dissent must be directed at the non-vaxxed an easy target until you look at them closely, and find out who they are:

Blacks suspicious of government medical edicts
Women worried about getting pregnant, or currently pregnant
Young fit people willing to risk getting covid cuz they're so damn fit
The immunocompromised and other medically unable to take the vaccine
Undecided people still making up their minds.

See how different they are? You might even use the media and the Dems favorite word "diversity". But in this case, diversity hurts their argument so u won’t hear that.

But we get it. Joe and CNN are both in free fall. In Joe’s case, literally. Joe needs something to save himself from Afghanistan. And CNN needs something to save them from themselves. And that's why they sound exactly the same. Biden should start every speech with "this is CNN," because, now they’re both tainted.

They have more contempt for a pregnant woman weighing her vaccine options than the mostly peaceful protesters who killed cops and did $2 billion in damages last summer. The fact CNN has even 300 viewers anymore is scarier than running into Wolf Blitzer on a nude beach.

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And Joe needs you to blame your neighbor, so you don’t blame him. It’s not his incompetence, it’s their stupidity. Some unifier. Yoko Ono did a better of bringing the Beatles together.

Demonizing the unvaxxed is Joe's way of inoculating himself from culpability. But sorry Joe, you are a breakthrough case. The inoculation failed. And so did you. Americas going to stick together, whether you like it or not.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the September 17, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"