It's gonna be hard for 2020 to top the "front thong."
This year will forever go down in history as the year that introduced us to the “bubble wrap” dress, denim panties and Crocs that came with their own little fannypacks — and that was just within the first few months.
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Take a look back at this year’s most questionable fashion trends, and marvel at the fact that we didn’t all die of exposure from our skimpy Halloween costumes and even skimpier festival-wear:
The ‘Front Thong’
Back in February, U.K. retailer Boohoo introduced the world to its “front thong,” which social-media users soon described as a “crime against humanity” and the quickest route to a “front-wedgie.” (A month later, Fashion Nova debuted their own version, which raised similar concerns over practicality and comfort.) Despite this, Boohoo told Fox News that customer demand for such an item was “huge,” and that “the style in question is selling out quickly.”
‘Forever 21 X USPS’
In April, Forever 21 and the U.S. Post Office teamed up (for real) to make everyone’s fashion dreams come true: a line of apparel that would allow the average Joe to dress like a postman. The line included branded sweatshirts, skintight bike shorts and even a see-through hoodie emblazoned with the words “express,” “first-class” or “priority.” And at least one of the items — a polyvinyl clutch — almost immediately sold out online.
Sunburn Tattoos
2019 was also the year we all had to learn what “sunburn tattoos” were, before promptly forgetting. The body-modification trend, which had actually been around for years, is achieved by placing stencils over exposed, unprotected skin, and then sitting in the sun until the design burns itself into the outer layer of epidermis. Dermatologists, predictably, are not fans of the idea.
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Stick-On Swimwear
Stick-on swimwear made a splash at Miami Swim Week in 2018, but the trend caught on in a big way in 2019, largely with Instagram models at music festivals. The idea also drew plenty of mockery after onlookers discovered a silly problem with the idea: “It’s all fun and games until one of them has to pee,” one Instagram user theorized.
The Wine-Stained Jumpsuit
In July, 19-year-old Eleanor Walton became a designer and a style icon in one fell swoop, creating an entirely new look out of sheer necessity. Walton was watching a horse race when a stranger bumped into her, causing her to spill wine all over herself. But instead of crying over spilt wine, she went the bathroom, removed her jumpsuit and soaked it in more wine. The result was a tie-dye-looking ensemble that was so flattering, the retailer who made Walton's jumpsuit reached out and created an entirely new pattern based on her look.
‘Pocket Crocs’
Crocs really went off the rails in 2019, thanks in part to Post Malone giving the brand his stamp of approval. (Remember “goth Crocs”?) But perhaps most notably, 2019 was the year that gave us “Pocket Crocs,” which came with little fannypacks attached to the back. Beams, the Japanese fashion brand that collaborated with Crocs on the item, even introduced a version featuring little sun visors, although those no longer appear to be available.
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The ‘Nicest Neighbor’ Costume
There was no shortage of risqué Halloween costumes in 2019, but the most questionable, arguably, was the one based on “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” The getup, made by Yandy, comprised of a cardigan-style crop-top, a pair of gray hot pants, and a collar and necktie. John Rogers, the son of the late Fred Rogers, later called the idea “silly” and “ridiculous,” but admitted that his dad probably would have found it funny.
The bone-fragment manicure
Charlotte Walton, of Staffordshire, England, was so devastated at having lost her father to cancer just months before her August wedding that she decided to incorporate some of his ashes into her manicure on the big day. Charlotte entrusted the task to her cousin Kirsty Meakin, who picked out and placed the tiny bone fragments on Walton’s nails. “The wedding was incredible, and everyone loved the nails," Walton claimed.
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Clear plastic festival clothing
Festival-wear was big business in 2019 — at least judging by the retailers and trendsetters who tried to make “glitter boobs,” bubble-wrap dresses or butt-baring chaps a thing. But among all the skimpy styles, none encapsulated the past year’s trends like clear plastic pants, skirts and jackets. You might ask, “Won’t that be too hot and sweaty to wear to a festival in Southern California?” Or, “Why not just go nude?” Indeed, both are very fair points. (And no, we don’t have the answer.)