Reddit user's harsh words toward alcoholic sister — 'If she dies, she dies' — has mother, others weighing in
A sober influencer says addicts as well as their families should seek support
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Reddit users came to the defense of a woman who made a harsh comment to her mother with regard to her alcoholic younger sister.
User "PossibleOk1522" asked Reddit's "Am I The A*****e" (AITA) subreddit to weigh in on the situation on Tuesday, Feb. 7, in a post titled "AITA for telling my mom that if my sister dies, she dies?"
In the post, PossibleOk1522, who described herself as a 42-year-old woman, explained that her 26-year-old sister "was hospitalized a few weeks ago for an alcohol OD [overdose]."
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"Luckily, she made it out alive, but she continued her old ways despite all that happened and still continues to drink her life away," wrote the woman.
PossibleOk1522 noted that when she reached out to her sister "to make sure she was OK," her sister "went off on me out of completely nowhere."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}A Reddit user took to the social media platform to ask others if she is in the wrong for making harsh comments about her 26-year-old alcoholic sister. (iStock)
"[She said to] mind my own business, and that she'd block me if I wouldn't stop talking about her issue," said PossibleOk1522.
"I never once brought up anything about her being an alcoholic, nor did I lecture her. I was just checking on her. That's it."
PossibleOk1522 explained that in the past, she and her mother "have tried to offer her moral support more than 1,000 times, whether it be getting her [a] therapist, attending church with her, becoming involved in activities outside our houses together, etc," but to no avail.
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"I don't mean to sound cruel, but I have had it," said PossibleOk1522.
"If you die, I won't be there at your deathbed or your funeral!"
"I let my mom know that she's a grown woman and that a grown woman should be solving her own problems, not us. I went as far as saying, ‘If she dies, she dies.’"
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}The Redditor's sister (not pictured) "continues to drink her life away," the Reddit poster shared with others on February 7. (iStock)
That line, said PossibleOk1522, resulted in a "heated argument" between her and her mother — with her mom then telling her, "If you die, I won't be there at your deathbed or your funeral!"
Added the Reddit poster, "That's what caused distant relations between my mother for the past couple days" — who concluded by asking others for their opinions.
Fox News Digital reached out to PossibleOk1522 for comment.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Brad McLeod, a Canada-based addict in recovery who founded the Sober Motivation Instagram page and host of the Sober Motivation podcast, told Fox News Digital that PossibleOk1522's sister should get "connected to a community of others who have been through this struggle, and understand what is going on."
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"I was drinking because my mind and body [were] telling me to," he said. "Drinking alcohol brought me back to my baseline ‘normal’ and without it I was very uncomfortable in my own skin — and very hard on myself in my thoughts."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}McLeod also encouraged PossibleOk1522 and her mother to seek a community for support during this time.
The Redditor told others in her post that her 26-year-old sister "was hospitalized a few weeks ago" for an alcohol overdose. (iStock)
"Addiction affects the entire family system," he said.
"It is like throwing a rock in a pond and the ripple effect," he added. "A lot of family members are attempting to pour from an empty cup to support loved ones struggling with addiction."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}This, however, is impossible, McLeod said.
"You are worthy of love and worthy of a better life."
"You can’t pour from an empty cup, so be sure you are getting support for yourself and taking care of yourself if you're looking to support someone struggling with addiction," he said.
But most of all, McLeod said he believes that help and recovery are possible for all who struggle with addiction.
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"We must understand: If the person is alive, there is always hope for sobriety, and we cannot give up," he said.
"I've had the privilege of hearing hundreds of stories over the years, and for most people, hope was gone and they never thought they would be sober — and one day at a time, they are. It can’t always be explained, but it is so possible," he emphasized.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Luckily, she made it out alive, but she continued her old ways despite all that happened and still continues to drink her life away," wrote Reddit user PossibleOk1522 about her younger sister's heavy drinking. (iStock)
"You are worthy of love and worthy of a better life," McLeod said.
A clinical psychologist based in New York City said that the situation is difficult, but help is available.
"It can be very challenging for close friends or family members to watch those they care about suffer with addictions, especially if they're without appropriate help," Dr. Jayme Albin told Fox News Digital.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}The best strategy, said Albin, is to "show support and encouragement" to the person struggling — and avoid making threats about ending the relationship based on the person's inability to stop addictive behaviors.
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"After all, it is a disease," she said.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Albin recommended that anyone struggling with addiction connect with a professional support group such as Smart Recovery or Alcoholic Anonymous, or a certified drug and alcohol counselor.
The best strategy is to "show support and encouragement" to a person struggling with addiction — and avoid making threats about ending the relationship because of the addiction, according to a clinical psychologist. (iStock)
"This would be a better option than church or friends, who are not trained to dive into this matter," Albin said.
"Often, people in the community mean well, but they have a tendency to come across as condescending and judgmental — and that would explain [this] family member’s defensive reaction," she continued, referencing the situation shared on Reddit.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}On the AITA subreddit, Redditors can reply to posts saying that the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A-----e), "YTA" ("You're the A-----e"), "NAH" ("No A-----e Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").
"You are allowed to be fed up with an addict in your life who won't try to get better."
Users can "upvote" responses they think are helpful and "downvote" ones that are not.
The majority of Redditors who replied to the post took PossibleOk1522's side in this case, saying that while she was harsh, they believe her sister is an addict and has been risking her life.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"She has a deadly disease that can and will kill her eventually," one Reddit user commented about the alcoholic family member. "She needs help." (iStock)
"You are allowed to be fed up with an addict in your life who won't try to get better," wrote Reddit user "Electric-Fun" in the top-upvoted comment.
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"But do try to be more gentle with your mom. This isn't her fault and that's her child. She's in pain, too," the individual wrote.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"It's terribly sad, but Mom needs to understand her role and what she can do to help herself."
Electric-Fun, who described himsself or herself (gender wasn't indicated) as "an alcoholic in recovery," suggested that PossibleOk1522 and her mother take her sister to "rehab or (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings" — which "might be more helpful than church or activities."
One clinical psychologist recommended that anyone struggling with addiction connect with a professional support group such as Smart Recovery or Alcoholic Anonymous, or a certified drug and alcohol counselor. (iStock)
"She has a deadly disease that can and will kill her eventually. She needs real, long-term help," wrote Electric-Fun.
Reddit user "mortgage_gurl," who called herself a recovering alcoholic, concurred with Electric-Fun's advice and suggested that PossibleOk1522's mother "find Al-Anon stat!"
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Fantastic for her if she can fix it on her own, but if she can't, and she continues? That was her choice."
Al-Anon is an organization for family members and friends of alcoholics, notes the organization's website.
"She can't save her daughter," wrote mortgage_gurl. "Long-term treatment is probably the only thing that will save her, after a medical detox, but if she won't stay in a program there's nothing anyone can do."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"It's terribly sad, but Mom needs to understand her role and what she can do to help herself," said mortgage_gurl.
"You are doing your part here by being the non-judgmental family member" — someone "your sister can still talk to," one Reddit user commented. (iStock)
"Fantastic for her if she can fix it on her own, but if she can't, and she continues? That was her choice."
Redditor "1962Michael" had a slightly different read on the situation.
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"You are doing your part here by being the non-judgmental family member [whom] your sister can still talk to. Sounds like your sister already has plenty of relatives that tell her what to do," wrote 1962Michael.
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Your sentiment is well understood, but your mom is not [the] AH for trying, or for worrying, or for trying to get you to help," he said.
1962Michael did say that PossibleOk1522 was "a little abrupt" and sounds "a bit heartless. This user also added, "Telling the truth is rarely an AH thing to do."