Reddit user defended after dad leaves him 'effectively homeless'
The Redditor received less than 30 days notice from his father that he would not be allowed to live with him
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}A Reddit user who told his father he was now "effectively homeless" was completely in the right to do so, said other users of the website.
"AITA for telling my dad that he’s effectively made me homeless?" asked "OkNumber787" in a Friday, August 16 post on Reddit's "Am I the A--hole" (AITA) subreddit.
In the post, OkNumber787 explained he's a 22-year-old male who moved out of his father's house a year and a half ago.
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"The deal he made with me was that I could always come back home if I was struggling too much financially (I’m a university student and also working full-time)," said OkNumber787.
The lease he is currently on ends on September 1, "and since around July, he and I have been under agreement that I can move back in with him starting in September."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Reddit users supported the man (not pictured), who said his father changed his mind about letting him live with him just two weeks before he was set to move in. (Getty Images; iStock)
That arrangement, however, recently changed.
"Fast forward to today. He texts me out of the blue and says that his current girlfriend isn’t okay with me living there and that I’ll need to figure something else out," he said. "He told me this two weeks before my lease is up."
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}The girlfriend said "she didn't want to have to hear me in the basement late at night since I get off work super late (I would’ve been quiet; the most noise would’ve been the alarm going off for 5 seconds when I opened the door)," he said.
"I tried to make a case for myself and told my father that we’ve been in agreement for MONTHS that I could move back in, but he’s still refusing," he said, and told his father that "he just effectively made me homeless, and that if I had known sooner that I couldn't move back in, I would've looked for somewhere else."
"He told me I needed to grow up and handle this like an adult, to figure out my own problems."
His father refused to budge, saying, "He told me I needed to grow up and handle this like an adult, to figure out my own problems."
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"As it stands, most landlords aren’t even renting out for September 1st at this point. I’ll have to find a place for October 1st," said OkNumber787, noting that he would likely have to "couch-surf" for months. "AITA?"
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In a follow-up comment to his post, OkNumber787 wrote that after asking around "a few coworkers said they could use an extra roommate to help with the rent," and that his grandparents also agreed to let him stay with them, but they do not live close to his job or school.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"Right now, these are my two best options," said OkNumber787.
A Reddit user (not pictured) wrote that he was worried he would have to "couch-surf" for months as a result of his father's sudden decision. (iStock)
On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--hole Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").
Users can "upvote" responses they think are helpful and "downvote" ones that are not.
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Of the nearly 1,500 responses to OkNumber787's post, almost all said that he was "NTA" and that his father was acting irrationally.
"NTA. It's sad that he's not even willing to house you temporarily to give you time to find another option, given that he'd made a commitment to you," said Reddit user "owls_and_cardinals" in the top-upvoted reply.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Reddit users were nearly unanimous in saying that OkNumber787 was not in the wrong to tell his father he was "effectively homeless" with this sudden change of plans. (iStock)
The user continued, "He's choosing his [girlfriend]'s preferences over your basic needs, and justifying it by saying 'Well you're an adult, figure it out.' Adult or not, you had an AGREEMENT and therefore had not made other arrangements and it's totally inappropriate for him to withdraw that at this point."
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Other users pointed out that OkNumber787's father was not acting like an adult either in this situation, especially when it comes to housing policy.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}"I would tell him that adults tend to have at least 30 days of notice that they need to find new housing and that is what you two had arranged and how was that not being an adult? Is he going to fund six weeks of a hotel for you as well as first and last for a place to live since you weren't anticipating needing that? He'd said for years he'd house you if you ever needed it," said user "Spinnerofyarn."
"There [is] a reason that 30 days is the standard. Especially if you work full-time," said user "Having-hope3594."
Fox News Digital reached out to OkNumber787 for additional comments and updates.
{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}A family therapist told Fox News Digital that the father's actions in this situation were wrong and may have permanently damaged their relationship.
"This father’s actions, unfortunately, do not reflect great parenting," Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital in an email. "It’s perfectly reasonable for a parent to want their child to take on responsibility and learn to fend for themselves. However, the way this situation was handled — initially offering his son support and then abruptly withdrawing it — damages their relationship and erodes trust."
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{{#rendered}} {{/rendered}}Goldberg added, "It also makes her life significantly more challenging. The fact that this decision seems to be influenced by the presence of a new person in his life is particularly harmful, as it suggests that this new relationship is more important than his daughter. This could create a deep rift between them that will require considerable effort to repair, even if he eventually changes his mind. The damage has been done, and it sends a clear message that his daughter is not the priority."