Mariah Carey says her mother's jealousy has lived 'with me for the rest of my life'
The star alleged her mother, also a singer, was jealous of her early success
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Mariah Carey is reflecting on the impact her mother had on her as a child.
The 50-year-old singer has been busy in recent weeks promoting her new memoir "The Meaning of Mariah Carey," which drops tomorrow.
Among the topics she discusses in the book is her relationship with her mother, who was allegedly jealous of the up-and-coming musician.
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Carey's mother, Patricia, was a Julliard-trained opera singer.
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"My mother is a very talented singer ... I've always credited her with exposing me to music, with really [not] saying ... 'if I make it,' [but to] say 'when I make it,'" reflected the "We Belong Together" singer. "It's such a complicated relationship."
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Carey further alleged that Patricia once told her that Carey "should only hope" to be "half the singer that" she was, as CBS' Gayle King put it.
"It definitely had an effect on me," confessed Carey. "I don't even know that she would even remember that. That one statement did live with me for the rest of my life. You have to be so careful what you say."
Fox News' attempts to reach Patricia were unsuccessful.
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Comments like that one have even affected the way Carey treats her own children, the singer said.
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"... With my kids, I really try to acknowledge their talent and acknowledge when they draw a picture for me or sing or dance or anything that they do, I want them to know that it's also all about them and their happiness," she explained. "For me, it's very important that the kids always feel safe and that they feel seen and heard and that they know that they are loved unconditionally and that no matter what, I'll be there for them."
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Carey is mother to nine-year-old twins Moroccan and Monroe, who she shares with ex-husband Nick Cannon.
She elaborated: "That's very important to me because growing up and being alone in the house or alone in these dangerous situations was traumatizing."
Carey said that writing the book was about "emancipating [her] inner child, the little girl that never really felt seen or heard."
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She added that she grew up poor and "struggled with race and identity," leaving her "scared."
"There was a lot of unrest in my household -- if there was a household -- and I had difficulty with having come from such a dysfunctional family," she explained.
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In the interview, the music icon also recounted being at the home of a so-called friend, when she was "cornered" before her friends "started using the N-word over and over and over."
Carey also touched on her marriage to music executive Tommy Mottola.
"In the very beginning, I did feel protected by him, I definitely felt that we had a bond in music for sure. I felt that he believed in me," she shared. "That was huge. I didn't feel that support as a person, though. I didn't like he got the fact that I was also a human being with my own feelings and thoughts and needs."
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Carey continued, calling the relationship "skewed" with unbalanced "power dynamics."
"It's ironic, my voice was being heard by millions of people on a label that he controlled but my actual voice -- as a woman, as a human being -- was really shushed and not encouraged," she said. "If I hadn't emerged from that, I don't know what I'd be."
The two were married from 1993-98.
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The musician explained that she believed whether or not she was involved with Mottola, she still would have become a star as she "always believed" her music would become popular and that she would "overcome" her past.