One Direction alum Liam Payne talks addiction, suicidal ideation during boy band fame

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Liam Payne, known best for his time in the boy band One Direction, opened up about his mental health and addiction issues while at the height of 1D mania. 

The 27-year-old singer told Steven Barlett on "The Diary of a CEO" podcast that many of his days were filled with "pills and booze" and he had "moments of suicidal ideation."

"Yeah. There is some stuff that I’ve definitely never spoken about to do with it. It was really, really, really severe. It was a problem," the British star admitted. 

The 27-year-old was part of One Direction from 2010 to 2015 with other members Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, and Zayn Malik. He was just 16 years old when the band formed. 

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"In the band... the best way to secure us, because of how big we’d got, was just to lock us in our rooms. What’s in the room? A mini-bar," he recalled. "So at a certain point I thought, I’m just going to have a party-for-one and that seemed to carry on for many years of my life... It was wild but it was the only way you could get the frustration out."

The father-of-one said he realized how unhealthy he looked when photos surfaced of himself on a boat in 2014. 

Liam Payne revealed he struggled with suicide ideation and addiction issues.  (Jamy/Barcroft Media via Getty Images)

"There were a few pictures of me on a boat and I was all bloated out and I call it my pills-and-booze face," he described. Payne said his face was "10 times bigger" than it currently is.

Payne also confessed that while isolating at home during the COVID-19 pandemic, he turned back to alcohol. 

"I did worry up until the last few months," he said. "I think a lot of people had this same sort of thing, alcohol. It was getting earlier and earlier and easier and easier to go to."

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Payne further addressed how many fans think just because he amassed a fortune, all things are easy. 

"I was a director of a half-a-billion pound industry at 22. But if I am trying to pay car insurance I am useless. Picking up my post? I am the worst person in the world. You are deluded in your growth," he said regarding how he doesn't have basic life skills because he always had someone else taking care of errands. 

The pop star added, "I still feel like a child in so many ways. There is no link between money and happiness. It is a myth. Money is the ability to relax on certain things."

(L-R) Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, and Harry Styles of One Direction in 2014.  (Fred Duval/FilmMagic)

Payne recently ended his 10-month engagement to American model Maya Henry. 

"That annoys me. I've just not been very good at relationships. And I know what my pattern of things is with relationships at this point," he said in reference to the split.

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"I'm just not very good at them so I just need to work on myself before I put myself on to somebody else."

Payne shares a 4-year-old son, Bear, with British pop star and ex Cheryl. 

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).