Lamar Odom said he regrets cheating on his ex-wife, Khloé Kardashian, and lying to her about his cocaine addiction during their four-year marriage.
The former NBA star said in a new interview he wishes he "could have been more of a man" and it still bothers him now, three years after they divorced. He also said he misses the Kardashian family.
In excerpts from Odom's upcoming book, "Darkness to Light," Odom wrote he was the happiest he's ever been after they married in 2009, one month after they met. But he eventually began having affairs and he wrote he couldn't handle the "lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity."
"Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression," Odom wrote in his book per People. "I couldn’t keep my d— in my pants or the coke out of my nose. Drug addicts are incredibly skilled at hiding their habit. I’d get defensive and Khloé would just drop it."
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"I wish I could have been more of a man," Odom, 39, told the magazine. "It still bothers me to this day. But regret is something we have to learn to live with."
He said Kardashian was by his side after his near-fatal overdose in 2015 and today he's drug-free.
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"I hope we can be friends," Odom said of his ex. "I miss the family. And I hope we can all be reacquainted one day."
The Associated Press contributed to this report.